i figure that no one, yes i repeat, NO ONE, literally, would read this. hence, its the perfect place for me to shout it all out and NOT be heard.. cool? the problem is, i'm not being myself lately.. this is SO weird. first, it's the long-awaited break we've been looking forward for the past 11 months. second, i'm back home(THIS is an important point)third, christmas is less than a week away! fourth, i'm not stuck in that miserable hostel.
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now, WHAT exactly happened to me?
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i am so totally not in high christmas spirits.. back then, i WAS so excited over christmas that i can hardly sit still... yet now, even with the christmas songs playing over and over again, i dont feel anything. the tree is set(by mum) but it doesn't appeal to me like last time. i really wonder why... my christmas shopping is uncompleted. the things i bought are unwrapped. i feel so so.. idle. i'm just wandering around despite the long looooonnnnggggg list of things i have to do before i fly, ie. within 3 wks from now. i wonder, is the fact that i'm flying off sooner than i expected the reason why i'm being so... *dead*? but pretty impossible since i'm like kind of looking forward to it. or is it becos of something subconsciously bothering me? haih.. i give up looking for the answers. parents been nagging me every day for not "packing as i'm supposed to".. but i jus feel so lazy to do that. all i want to do is just sit in front of the com with this great connection and rot. i think i have no friends here. my friend will only be back 8th jan, just 2 days before i fly. of course i have others, but i dont know why i just didn't call them up or what. even lifting the receiver seemed to need a multitude of Newtons. arghs.. i miss midvalley. i miss my aimless trips there and wandering around without a reason, jus marvelled at the big place with shops i can memorize even if when closing my eyes. and oh yes, i miss my church. so much. =( miss kimgary. miss wasting time in mph. miss walking into mv's secret recipe every time yet never eaten there before. miss meeting lynnxuan at mv. miss going carrefour and not buying anything. arggghhhssss... i just miss mv. and all the things i used to do there. exploring myself. wasting time myself.
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btw, i'm procrastinating. this time, not studies. but meeting up with friends. i'm so totally overwhelmed by the question "so when u free to go out?" and i'll be saying "yah yah, someday. when free" i am SO FREE but no mood to go out.. i'm weird. feel like an outcast too, when friends describe about THEIR friends whom i dont know..
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arghs.. im weird, im strange, i'm an alien craving for midvalley. X(